


Keep holding on

by NatalieRyan



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck has a panic attack, Eddie comforts Buck, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hugs, M/M, Panic Attacks, talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 12:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21136358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatalieRyan/pseuds/NatalieRyan
Summary: In the aftermath of the tsunami, Buck needs reassurance Eddie is good with him and that he didn't fuck up. Buck has a panic attack, and Eddie helps him calm down. There's kissing.





	Keep holding on

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lunedd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunedd/gifts).

> I watched a few eps of 9-1-1 on TV and I failed to mention it to my partner in crime since I had a busy schedule for a while. Then couple of days later she writes to me and she says "OMG, this guy on 9-1-1..." and I was like OMG, that's the guy that caught my attention, too. After pulling my best puppy eyes she said we can share him. Needless to say, first thing she asked was to write her a Buck and Eddie story when I caught up. I didn't know that time will come fast. 
> 
> I'm still not caught up with all episodes but after watching 3x02 and 3x03 I had the urge to write Eddie and Buck. 
> 
> This is my first venture into the 9-1-1 fandom, writing Eddie and Buck, so pardon me if something is not in character.
> 
> Tw for panic attack (nothing too explicit, but just in case). 
> 
> Beta by dixons_mama. 
> 
> Babe, this is for you :**

There was a knocking on the door that roused Buck from his dreams. It took him a while to realize where he was, that the warm presence against his stomach was Christopher's head, fast asleep. The movie on TV had been long forgotten in favor for an afternoon nap.

Buck carefully extracted himself from under the sleeping kid and smiled softly at Chris, who immediately hugged the couch pillow; Buck's movement not disturbing his rest.

Buck opened the door, revealing Eddie in full uniform and dirty with soot.

"Hi."

"Hey. What happened? Uh, um, you're early?"

Eddie chuckled at the confusion on Buck's face.

"It's actually after 6, and I called like a dozen times but someone wasn't picking up."

Buck moved so Eddie could get inside his apartment, then closed the door.

"We were watching TV, and then apparently we fell asleep."

"Ah. Okay. How was he today?"

"Sweetheart. As always."

"Didn't give you any trouble?"

"Nope."

"Good. So, hey, listen. Can I shower and change here? I came here without thinking, and I'm kinda dirty…" Eddie looked at him sheepishly and it made Buck smile.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll prepare something for dinner."

"That means heating up something in the oven or the microwave."

"You know me so well."

Eddie stared at him for a bit, and then he was off to the shower. Buck was left watching after him, and not for the first time, he felt the pang of a feeling deep inside him. And it wasn't a heartburn.

For a long while he ignored it, thinking he couldn't be falling for his best friend, but at the same time Eddie had made his life make sense after he and Abby broke up. Eddie was there when Buck broke up with Ali. And Buck had been there for Eddie when Shannon died. It wasn't the right time for Buck to hope that something would happen.

Certainly they didn't start off on the right foot, but then Eddie became one of the most important people in Buck's life. Despite everything that happened in their lives, they gravitated to each other at the end of the day. They were each other's support, and Eddie trusted him with his son. He didn't even yell at him because Buck lost Chris in the tsunami. He wished he had Eddie next to him in those moments, because he didn't think he was strong enough to make it.

Eddie bounced back easily to their old routine and Buck was upset. When he screwed things up, people yelled at him. This was not normal. Eddie should not let Chris back under his watch.

"Buck, what's going on? Breathe, man, breathe with me."

There was a voice, coming from a distance, sounding just like Eddie.

"Evan, can you hear me? C'mon buddy."

It was then that Buck realized he couldn't breathe right and that the voice really did belong to Eddie, that the blurry form in front of him was his friend, the warm touch on his shoulder was Eddie's palm, broad and grounding.

"I want you to breathe with me, okay?"

Eddie sounded distressed and Buck wanted to tell him not to worry, that he was okay, but his breath hitched and Buck coughed until he couldn't breathe again.

Eddie's hand on his shoulder tightened as he placed his other one over Buck's chest and pressed lightly.

"Just follow my lead, okay, Buck?"

Buck could only nod as Eddie took a deep breath, kept it and slowly released it. Buck followed him and after a few minutes his breathing was mostly under control. He was still wheezing and his breath hitched again, but the initial panic subsided.

Eddie was still breathing with him and Buck was grateful it was Eddie that helped him regain his bearings and not Christopher finding him.

Christopher.

"Shh, Christopher is fine. Still sleeping. You are okay, Buck. He is okay. All is good."

Eddie smiled and that just tipped the iceberg, because in the next moment, tears streamed down Buck's face, unbidden.

Without thinking, Eddie wrapped Buck in his arms, murmuring softly and shushing him. Buck sobbed into Eddie's shoulder, letting it all out. It was days’ worth of worrying he had fucked it all up, that he'd never have the chance to…

Buck pulled out of the embrace. He hastily wiped his eyes and face, then promptly crashed his mouth with Eddie's.

In that moment nothing really mattered, because it was long overdue. At least for Buck. He'd wanted to kiss Eddie for so long, it hurt when he finally did.

It was just his luck for Eddie not to reciprocate. His lips were unmoving, eyes wide in shock. Buck recoiled. He acted on his impulses, but what if Eddie…

Buck left for his bedroom, frantic that he ruined another thing he had going steady in his life. He didn't have a job, he'd just lost his best friend. And he had a life threatening blood condition that if it wasn't treated right, could kill him.

"Fuck!" He yelled at no one in particular. It pained him to even ask himself, how was he still standing and not dead in a ditch somewhere?

"Buck."

Eddie was there, in his room.

"I'm sorry. Eddie, I know I ruined our friendship. I know. I'm really sorry for every-"

He was interrupted when Eddie kissed him, and this time his lips were moving. Buck couldn't help but moan a little and open up to the kiss. It was one of the best in his life. Soft, plush lips against his. It was perfect.

Eddie pulled off of him and rested his forehead against Buck's.

"I've been waiting for you to come around, you big dope." Eddie chuckled. "If Bobby told me one more time I was eye fucking you in his presence, he would have made the first move."

"Oh, God, no! That would have been so embarrassing."

"I know, right? Listen, Buck, there's something we should talk about."

Buck stopped in his tracks.

"Uh, yeah, about that… sorry, I panicked."

"It's not just because of your panic attack, Buck."

Buck sat down on his bed, Eddie following suit. They sat for a moment, Eddie could see that Buck was agitated by the way he wrung his hands and how his eyes couldn't focus on one thing.

"Hey." Eddie finally took Buck's hands in his own.

"I-"

"I know what you're going to say. I know you are sorry. But you have nothing to be sorry for, Buck."

"But, I…"

"Let me finish, please?"

A gentle hand touched the scratches above his birthmark. Buck melted against the touch.

"I meant what I said earlier today. There's no one else I could trust more with my son than you, Buck. I want you to know that. Chris adores you. He loves you, you're his hero. After what happened with the tsunami, you are his hero, Buck. Not that you weren't before, but now he's seen you saving people. Doing your best under pressure, and believe me, that's worth more than anything.

"What's most important, though, is that you saved him."

"But, I lost him…"

"It was a natural disaster, Buck. It happened. You think it was just you but it could have easily been me in your shoes. Or Bobby, Hen, Chim. Anyone. You made it. Both of you. That's all that matters."

"I… I don't know what to say."

"It's okay. I know everything I need to know."

Buck sighed as he put his head on Eddie's shoulder. Eddie wrapped an arm around his neck and kept Buck close.

"You are my hero, too, Buck."

"Now, that's just stretching it."

"You didn't just save my son. You got out of your apartment after spending so much time sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. The fact that you chose a hell of a day to do that…"

Buck was laughing by the time Eddie drifted off with his talk.

Mission accomplished then.

"Thank you, Eddie. I appreciate your support. I think that this tsunami was life altering for so many of us. I never realized before just how big of an impact something like this has. Sure, we put out fires, we save lives, but we never stay in the aftermath. That and my health problems… I think that I'm ready to step up on light duty, if Bobby will have me. But first, I'll respect the doctors’ orders and recuperate properly."

"Are you serious right now?"

"Dead serious. I just want to be able to live. I'm not ready to give up my life. Not my job either, but, what if something happens on the job? With the risk of me getting sick, and put everyone in danger, including myself… I wouldn't do that to you and Chris. Or the guys. You are my family."

Eddie couldn't help himself but to kiss Buck again. And again.

"I'm so glad you said that."

"I'm glad, too."

"Thank you for not giving up, Buck."

Buck knew now that Eddie didn't mean just the search for Christopher, but that he didn't give up on himself, either.

"Thank you for not giving up on me either. I know I'm a handful when I'm pissed."

"Nothing I can't handle, Buckley."

Buck smiled, content to just sit close to Eddie and rest, his mind settled for now.


End file.
